How can I find it?

Here are some smart-aleck answers to questions that both I and the student wished hadn't ever been asked. These are all actual questions from actual students.

Will this be on the test?

Yes — otherwise, why discuss it in class? Of course, the answer is "no" if it's obviously not going to be on the test.

Do we have to write in complete sentences?

no, u can rite how u want — its not lik were in collige wher spelin & grammr mattrs

I didn't come to class (on some particular day). Did we do anything important?

No. I saw that you weren't in attendance and cancelled all of the regularly scheduled activities.

I won't be coming to class on (some particular day). Will we be doing anything important?

Do we ever? What we do on any day is generally no more important than any other day. If you miss a day, check the Web site and check with your friends, enemies, or random classmates to see what you missed.

Can I have an extension on this assignment? I have been sick/will be going on a flyback/want to visit my friends/have too much other homework.

No, you can't have an extension. You will receive a penalty of 20% for each day that your assignment is late. Be you sick, dead, afflicted with leprosy, tortured with scurvy — you take the penalty if the work doesn't get turned in.

Are you finished grading the assignment yet?

Yes, I finished grading the assignments and decided that I would keep them until you asked me about them. Thanks for reminding me.